(WXYZ) — The holidays can bring joy, but they can also bring stress, especially when it comes to navigating challenging family relationships.
At Life in the Craft Room, owner Kimberly Vallance was adding names to hand-crocheted stockings with her mother. She says advice at the craft table isn't limited to yarn and fabric. Sometimes, the hardest things to piece together during the holidays aren't crafts — they're relationships.
Watch Christiana Ford's video report below:
"I have one person in particular that is very dear to my heart, but she's a very challenging individual," said Annie Khoury, who has experience navigating difficult relationships.
Khoury has learned that like the crafts around her, managing relationships takes patience, intention and boundaries.
"I have to put myself in her shoes and realize that life is difficult. I somehow from within can draw empathy and compassion and want to still love her and support her," Khoury said.
Research shows more Americans are estranged from family because of various rifts. Dr. Hasti Raveau, founder and CEO of the Mala Child and Family Institute, says multiple factors contribute to this trend.
"This is impacted by so many different factors. One is what happened five years ago with the COVID pandemic. Everything got shut down. People weren't able to gather for holidays and birthdays, and what it lead to for a lot of people that a distance was maybe relieving for them," Raveau said.
While it's become more common to cut people off, Raveau says it may not be the best option in the long run.
"Relationships are the core of everything. They make or break us. Traditions, rituals around families and community and gathering are really protecting against stress," Raveau said. "Relationships have conflict in them. Having conflicts in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean that it is unsafe or damaging and that you should be cutting people off."
It may be uncomfortable, but as long as it's safe, Raveau suggests planning ahead for family gatherings, communicating your needs clearly and getting help to address personal anxiety and shame.
"Sometimes, we have competing needs with someone in the family, but also within ourselves. So I'm noticing that I have this need to connect with family, but I also have this need to take care of my mental health or have rest — how can I make it work," Raveau said.
For those who disconnected but want to try again, Raveau offers guidance.
"Feel the shame, talk to it in a loving way, normalize anxiety and take that value driven action of initiation or repair and accountability anyway," she said.
Raveau emphasizes that feeling like you have choices can help you feel regulated during family gatherings. She suggests people consider how long they want to stay, who they want to engage with and how they can communicate their expectations ahead of time.
Raveau also recommends getting professional help to navigate challenging relationships and trauma.
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